When I went Shopping!

Just yesterday, I had gone to City Centre (for the first time). I was busy shopping at Lifestyle. I was rummaging through all the clothes and trying to find myself a decent kurti. I was happy I was finding a couple to my liking. And then... as I left the trial room with one or two I liked, it hit me...

Where's my purse?!

However hard I tried to rack my brains, I couldn't remember when I had it last, or where I had left it. It was Sale time at Lifestyle, coupled with the weekend crowd, and things were going haywire; clothes all strewn across and people everywhere! And I was, like an idiot, trying to find my purse. It was nothing short of finding a needle in a haystack!

First I try to calm down and (logically) try to trace back my steps; the sections I visited, the paths I took and so on. It wasn't helping (duh!). And breathing down my back was my sister, who like all sisters and mothers (I believe) go into the 'I told you so' mode. Here I was, with my purse lost (with cash, debit card and mobile) and all she could do was give me a lecture on my carelessness, absent-mindedness and negligence! Phew! She finally suggests that we need to report a missing purse. I decide to do that.... since I had already evoked all the Gods, bribed lord Ganesh with a coconut and had panicked like hell! I approach one of the salespersons and report that I've lost my purse. She asks me to go to a counter and report it.

I (looking foolish, scared and idiotic all at the same time) approach the counter and tell them of my woe. They ask me to describe the purse. I say it's blue and start to describe it.... having not much faith that they can find it in that crowd... and suddenly they produce my purse! What a miracle! They ask me the amount of money in it, other items enclosed, etc and I finally get it. Some customer or a salesperson who had found it was kind enough to return and report it. I was so relieved, I can't explain! What if some jerk who was a kleptomaniac had got my purse? I even dread to think of the possibility. And to think I lost and found it, all in a matter of a few minutes....
So my weekend, which was at the verge of becoming a disaster, was rescued from such a plight by a kind person (God bless that soul!). I wish I could meet that person and thank him/her.

So what did I learn from this incident?

Take care of your things.... or you will have to hear your sister nag! Lol!

The weekend that was...

Most weekends, I end up washing, cooking, watching TV and catching movies, sleeping and whiling away time. This time, it was no different. But there were a few interesting things along the way.

First of all, I caught Inception. With so much being said about this movie, I had to give it a shot. Well, the movie is technically brilliant and a concept which is bizarre to think, but executed to perfection. If someone were to tell you that someone can extract thoughts from your sub-conscious through your dreams; that a bunch of people all wired at one go can go to sleep and enter the same dream created by an 'architect'; that you can have dreams within dreams...you might pooh-pooh it immediately as someone's sci-fi imagination gone wild. But that's where this movie scores big time. It was truly a case of 'willing suspension of disbelief' (as Coleridge put it). You never for once feel that it's implausible; unlike scores of B-grade movies which is shot so crappily that you can easily make through the fake world they try to create. Here, the pace and style of the movie grips you immediately.
Having said that, I felt that technical brilliance was what kept the audience in awe; followed by the concept. Or both in no particular order. I somehow didn't feel that I could connect with Di Caprio or the other characters. When his story unravels in parts, I didn't feel for him. It would have been better if the audience could be emotionally involved. Or so I felt. Now please don't tear me down for not having said that it's the BEST movie ever made! That's my opinion. I'd say everyone should watch it atleast once. And maybe more times, to get the whole movie. And you might still not get it.

I then caught a show on TV, for the first time: 'Moment of Truth' (Season 2). For those who haven't watched it, this game show is one where a person has to answer a series of 21 progressively personal and embarassing questions. With each step, the question gets worse; but you get money for being 'truthful'; i.e. you win a cash amount if the answer is right. How this works is, prior to the show, a contestant is hooked up to a polygraph and asked more than 50 questions; there is no polygraph testing conducted during the actual show. Without knowing the results of the polygraph, he or she is asked 21 of those same questions again on the program, each becoming progressively more personal in nature. If the contestant answers honestly, according to the polygraph results, he or she moves on to the next question; however, should a contestant lie in his or her answer (as determined by the polygraph) or simply refuse to answer a question after it has been asked, the game ends.
Now, you must sample the questions asked on the show. The episode I watched had an engaged couple, Jeff and Denise. Some of the questions asked on the show:

• "Have you stolen money from Jeff's wallet without him knowing?" (To the girl, Denise)
• "Do you have a secret stash of cash you haven't told your fiance about?" (To the guy, Jeff)
• "Do you like Jeff's mother?" (To Denise)
• "Do you love Denise more than your own mother?" (To Jeff)
• "Have you had sexual relationship with Denise's girlfriends?" (To Jeff)
• "Did you have unprotected sex with your ex-boyfriend during the time both of you had separated?" (To Denise)

It was outrageous to see the kind of questions being asked. And needless to say, everything from money, personal relationships, sex and love was covered. There was a whole dramatic sequence in which the sister-in-law- and mother-in-law-to be first blame Denise for not behaving well with them, which later culminates in forgiveness, hugs, kisses and tears! Oh boy, and here I thought we Indians alone thrived on saas-bahu melodrama!
And after all the unsavoury questions, a final bonus question was: "Do you still want to get married?" To which Denise said, "Yes". Jeff said "No". And you get the picture. It's anybody's guess if the marriage is still on!
I am really amused by this show. First of all, it suggests that you would do anything to get money. I mean, you'd own up to your secrets or feelings for a wad of cash? No matter how much it would hurt your future or your relationships? What you wouldn't dare admit to your fiance in private, you'd own up to it on national television? What about that!
Secondly, I think some things are better not brought out in the open. Let's face it. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships are a bit tricky, with neither party openly admitting feelings which are 'mutual'. What good does it do by stating it point-blank? As for all the sexual (mis)adventures being brought out into the open; I have no comments. The less said, the better. It's nothing short of shaking a bee-hive!
I haven't had a chance to watch it's Indian version 'Sach ka Saamna'. And I even don't know if they are still airing it. Anyway, I am sure that husbands and wives, siblings,friends, parents and children, etc who come on the show will return more confused, sad, depressed and dejected. But that's what people choose to give up in return for some money. It's their lives; so be it.

So... what have you folks been upto?

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Thought for the day: "The best angle from which to approach a problem is the try-angle."

Romance is in the Air! - Part 3

Now, although wooing is primarily done by a man, which is why you will find so many songs apt for men folk, there are songs in which women express their feelings and passion. Sample these:

For a girl who doesn’t know how to write a love letter (!)

Priyathamaa…

Priyathama…priyathama…
Pranaya lekhanam engine ezhuthanam
Munikumaarikayallo… njaanoru
Munikumaarikayallo
(Priyathama)
Chamatha murikkum kaiviralukalaal
Pranaya thamburuvengine meettum
Pranavam chollum chundukalaal njaan
Prema kaakali engane paadum
Nadhaa… nadhaa neeyevide
(Priyathama)
Maravuri moodum maaridamaake
Madhananambukalenthinu thooki
Pulakam choodum poovudalode
Prema lolupaninnini varumo
Nadhaa… nadhaa neeyevide
(Priyathama)

He came, he saw, he conquered… and she was left with this sad tale to tell:

Pularaaraayappol…

Pularaaraayappol, poonkozhi kooviyappol
Puthumanavaalan onnurangiyappol
Kannodu kannum nokki
Chirichum kondirippaayi
Vinnile poonthinkalum njaanum maathram! *
(Pularaaraayappol)
Pittennu kaalathente meththayil purandoru
Pichchakamalarmanam maayum munpe
Mothirakkaipidichu maaraththanachum kondu
Paathirappullupole parannu maaran
(Pularaaraayappol)
Chandanakkudaththum naal vanneththumennu nambi
Enthellaamenthellaam orukkivachu!
Kasthurikkalippaaakkum thaththavaalan vettilayum
Pittennen kannuneeril kuthirnnupoyi
(Pularaaraayappol)

(* Very suggestive! Don’t you think?)

Anjana Kannezhuthi...

Anjana kannezhuthi, aalila thali charthi
Arappura vathilil njan kathirunnu
Manavalan ethum neram
Kudumayil choodanoru
Kudamulla malar mala korthirunnu…
(Anjana)
Mudi mele kettivachu
Thulunadan pattuduthu
Mukkutti chanthum thottu njarinnu
Kanni vayal varambathu, kaalocha kettaneram
Kalyana mani depam koluthi vachu…
(Anjana)
Thooshanila murichu vachu
Thumbappo choru vilambi
Aashicha kariyellam nirathi vachu
Pullukal urangeettum, poonkozhy karanjttum
Kallanavan vanilla thozhy mare…
(Anjana)
And so she still waits…

To finish this section off, let me give you a sample of the most controversial lyrics in the history of Malayalam cinema. This was (in)famous for being banned on All India Radio for it’s erotic and explicit lyrics! And recently, it was re-sung and adapted in the movie Kadaksham, starring Suresh Gopi. Imagine what goes on in movies now; and to think they banned a song back then!

Praanadhan…

Praana naadhanenikku nalkiya
Paramaananda rasathe
Paravathinezhuthaamo
(Praana)
Angathil iruthiyen ponga thadangal
Kara pankajam kondavan thalodi
Punjiri koottum thanka kudamennu kondaadi
Gaadam punarnnum angulitha pulakam
Kalarnnezhumen kapolamathingal athodu
Thinkal mukhatheyanachayadharathe
Nukarnnum pala vela thudarnnum
(Praana)
Kaanthanororo rathi kaantha thanthrathilente
Poonthukil azhichoru neram
Thudangi njaanum maanthasharakkadalil paarum
Thanne marannum neenthi muthala pranthinaalathi
Thaanthayaayinilaanthamangine kaantha krudham
Sura thaanda maholsava ghosham punarethra vishesham
(Praana)

And that was my list of few favourite songs. I am sure you can think of more songs and more situations.
I leave you to muse.

[P.S. If you did read all of this … I did warn you that this will be long!]

Romance is in the Air! - Part 2

Hasn’t she kept her word? Has she not turned up? Is she keeping you waiting? Here’s what would best express the pathos of the lover’s wait for his beloved…

Manjalayil mungi…
Manjalayil mungi thorthi
Dhanumaasa chandrika vannu
Ninne maathram kandillallo
Nee maathram vannillallo
Premachakoree… chakoree… chakoree…
(Manjalayil)
Karnnikaaram poothu thalirthu
Kalpanakal thaalameduthu
Kanmaniye kandillallo
Ente sakhi vannillallo
Kandavarundo… undo… undo…
(Manjalayil)
Kadha muzhuvan theerum munpe
Yavanika veezhum munpe
Kavilathu kanneerode
Kadhanathin kanneerode
Kadannuvallo aval nadannuvallo…

Neeraduvan…

Neeraaduvan, nilayil neeraaduvaan
Neeyenthe vaiki vannu pooonthingale
(Neeraaduvaan)
Eeranaam vennilaavin, poompudava azhinju
Ee nadhi than pulinangal chandanakkuliraninju…
Poompudava thumbile kasaveduthu
Pookaitha kanyakamaar mudilyil vachu…
(Neeraaduvaan)
Aattuvanchi pookkalum kaattilaadi ulanju
Aadimaali manalthattum aathira poovaninju…
Aalinte kombathe gandharvano
Aareyo manthramothi unarthidunnu…
(Neeraaduvaan)

Next is my favourite genre… the ‘naughty’ songs! These light-hearted songs have subtle lyrics that reveal a lot more than they apparently say. Some of them have highly suggestive lyrics, and a second reading should get you thinking! Now this is called ‘reading between the lines’. Check it out!

Thanka bhasma…

Thanka bhasma kuriyitta thampuraatti ninte
Thinkalaazhcha noyambinnu mudakkum njan
Thiruvillwamalayil, nedhichu kondu varum
Ilaneer kudaminnudakkum njaan
(Thanka)
Vadakkini thadathil poojayeduppinu
Veluppaan kaalathu kandappol
Murappenne ninte poom kavilingal njan
Harishri ezhuthiyathormayille
Premathin, harishri ezhuthiyathormayille
(Thanka)
Thumba pookkalathil thiruvonathinu
Thumbi thullaanirunnappol
Pookkila kathirukalkkidayiloode enne nee
Nokki kothippichathormmayille
Oli kannaal, nokki kothipichathormmayille
(Thanka)
Kalappura thalathil meda pulariyil
Kani kandu kannu thurannappol
Vilakku keduthi nee aadhyamaay nalkiya
Vishu kai neettangal ormayille
Premathin, vishu kai neettangal ormayille
(Thanka)

Laksharchana kandu…

Laksharchana kandu madangumbol oru
Lajjayil mungiya mugham kandu
Mallikaarjuna kshetrathil vachaval
Malleeshwarante poovambu kondu
(Laksharchana)
Mughakuru mulakkunna kavilile kasthuri
Naghakshatham kondu njan kavarneduthu
Adharam kondadharathil amruthu nivedikkum
Asula nirvrithi arinju njaan… arinju njaan…
(Laksharchana)
Asthikalkullilorunmadha vismrithi than
Ajnjatha sowrabham padarnnu keri
Adhu vare ariyatha praanaharshangalil
Avalude tharunyamalinjirangi… alinjirangi…
(Laksharchana)

(Look how the poet converts an innocuous visit to the temple into an amorous meet! And you’d think a temple visit was just that!)

Has she left you? Here are the classic songs for those who have loved and lost!

Sanyasini…

Sanyasini nin punyashramathil njan
Sandhya pushpavumay vannu…
Aarum thurakkatha poomukhavaathilil
Anyanae pole njan ninnu…
( Sanyasini)
Ninte dukhaardramam mookaashrudharayil
Ente swapnangal alinju sagadhgadham
Ente mohangal marichu…
Ninte manassinte theekkakannil
Veenente ee pookkal karinju
Raatri pakalinodenna pole,
Yaatra chodipppoo njaan…
( Sanyasini)
Ninte ekaanthamaam ormathan veedhiyil
Enne ennengilum kaanum
Orikkal nee ente kaalpaadukal thedum
Annumennathmaavu ninnodu manthrikkum
Ninne njan snehichirunnu….
Raatri pakalinodenna pole,
Yaatra chodipppoo njaan…
( Sanyasini)



Sumangali…

Sumangali, nee ormikkumo
Swapnathilenkilum ee gaanam
Oru galgadhamaay manassilaliyum
Oru prema kadhayile dhukka gaanam
(Sumangali)
Pirinjupokum ninakiniyee kadha
Marakkuvaane kazhiyu
Niranja maarile aadhya nakha kshatham
Maraykkuvaane kazhiyu
Koonthalaal maraykkuvaane kazhiyu
(Sumangali)
Kozhinja peelikal perukkiyedukkum
Koodu koottum hrudhayam
Virinja poovinum veenapoovinum
Virunnorukkum hrudhayam eppozhum
Virunnorukkum hrudhayam
(Sumangali)

Mangalam nerunnu…

Mangalam nerunnu njan manaswini
Mangalam nerunnu njan
Alinju chernathin sheshamen jeevanil
Pirinju poyi nee enkilum, ennum
(Mangalam)
Evideyaanenkilum ninte sankalpangal
Ezhu varnangalum vidarthatte
Ennumaa jeevitha pon maniveenayil
Sundara swaradhaara unaratte
Unaratte…
(Mangalam)
Nirayumee dhukhathin chudu neduveerppukal
Nin munnil thennalaay ozhukatte
Aa punya dhaambathya varna vallariyil
Aananda mukulangal janikkatte
Janikkatte…
(Mangalam)

Listen to these three songs, and even the most cheerful of you will plunge into sorrow! Such is the mood evoked by these gut-wrenching songs.

Romance is in the Air! - Part 1

(Disclaimer: This is a tri-partite series. It's long. Really long.)

It could be the monsoons, my vacant (and idle) mind; or it is the season of love! And no, I have not fallen in love (if that’s what you were going to insinuate!)

As I was on my way to work (???) today, old Malayalam songs came flooding to my mind. And my mind can be like the neighbour’s pesky radio! It keeps on playing tracks in my head and I just cannot wish it away. But that got me thinking on a lot of things. Most importantly… Lyrics! Songs like those are no more written. It is sheer poetry; a delight to the mind. Every time I listen to old songs, I feel invigorated by the lyrics… I am amazed how the erstwhile lyricists could bring in so much richness; be it the imagery or the comparisons they draw. And for me it’s akin to sacrilege if people do not care about lyrics while singing songs. I am not here to brag, but I remember lyrics of a whole lot of songs (Hindi, Malayalam, old or new); and people ask how is it possible to memorize it. If you can appreciate the thought behind the lyrics, it’s a cakewalk for any, is what I’d like to say!

Undoubtedly, romantic songs are the most challenging and creative of the lot. I am a great admirer of lyricists like P Bhaskaran, Vayalar, O N V Kurup, etc. Any Malayali alive has heard, felt and imbibed the charm of the old Malayalam songs. And since we are talking of Romance, here’s a few from my list of favourite Malayalam Romantic songs. As you will see, there are songs for every occasion.

Lost in love? Want to tell your lady love how you feel? Want to praise her beauty? No fear, the best songs are here!

Aareyum…


Aareyum bhaava gaayakan aakkum aathma soundaryamaanu nee
Namra sheersharaay nilpoo nin munnil, thamra nakshatra kanyakal…
(Aareyum bhava)
Kinnara mani thamburu meetti, ninne vaazhthunnu vaanavum
Mannile kilippaithalum, mulam thandil moolunna thennalum
Innithaa nin prakeerthanam; ee prapancha hridaya veenayil
Aaaaaa… (Aareyum bhava)
Ninte naavile mounamaakumee ponmanicheppinullilaaay
Moodi vacha nighooda bhaavangal, pookkalaay shalabhangalaay
Innithaaa nrithalolayaay; ee prapancha nadana vedhiyil
Aaaaa… (Aareyum bhava)

Vathil Pazhuthilude…

Vaathil pazhuthiluden munnil kunkumam
Vaari vitharum thri-sandhya poke
Athilolamen idanazhiyil nin kala madhuramam kalocha kettu
Madhuramam kalocha kettu…


Hridhayathin thanthriyil aaro viralthodum
Mridulamam nishvanam pole
Illakallil jalakanam ittu veezhum pole
Uyiril amrutham thalicha pole
Tharala vilolam nin kalocha kettu njan
Ariyathe koritharichu poyi…
(Vaathil Pazhuthiluden)
Himabhindhu mukhapadam charthiya poovine
Madhukaram nugarathe uzharum pole
Ariya nin kalocha cholliya manthrathin
Porulariyathe njan ninnu
Nizhalukal kalamezhuthunoren munnil
Mattoru sandhyayai nee vannu…
(Vaathil Pazhuthiluden)

Both these songs are sheer poetic geniuses! If you read every word of these songs, it goes beyond saying that it’s breathtaking.

Wish your lady love was near you? The evergreen favourite of separated lovers, engaged couples, or silent admirers!

Arikil…

Arikil neeyundaayirunnenkil…
Arikil neeyundaayirunnenkil ennu njaan
Oru maathra veruthe ninachu poyi,
Oru maathra veruthe ninachu poyi…
(Arikil)
Raathri mazha peythu thornna neram
Kulur kaatililacharthulanja neram
Ittitu veezhum neer thulli than sangeetham
Hruthanthikalil padarna neram
Kaatharayaayoru pakshiyen jaalaka
Vaathilin chaare chilacha neram,
Vaathilin chaare chilacha neram…
Oru maathra veruthe ninachu poyi…
(Arikil)
Muttathu njan natta chembaka thaiyyile
Aadhyathe mottu virinja naalil
Snigdhamaam aarudeyo mudi chaarthilen
Mugdha sankalpam thalodi nilkke
Etho puraathana prema kadhayile
Geethikal ennil chirakadikke
Geethikal ennil chirakadikke,
Oru maathra veruthe ninachu poyi…
(Arikil)

Doesn’t that song always make you sigh? *Sigh*

Little Things

Yesterday, I was dicing lady's finger...(ladies finger? lady's fingers? ladies fingers?... How is it spelt?....I digress! Back to the story!) ...for dinner. That's when I had a blast from the past. I was transported to my nursery art classes. I think my first ever tryst with this vegetable (raw, I mean) was in the art class. My teacher handed out a chopped stub of this vegetable, prompted us to dip it into water colour and make imprints on paper. Then you follow it up with fanciful brushes of green (for the stem and leaves), and what you got were flowers! I was so thrilled back then. A cross-section of a vegetable put to great creative use.

And as my mind ploughed through the goldmine of childhood memories, I was reminded of yet another art class resource... pencil shavings! It reminded me of how carefully I would sharpen colour pencils to get neat shavings, which I would then carefully paste on paper to form flowers. And when it became a beautiful bunch of flowers on paper, I had felt proud! I made it!

And then I thought...

Where is that innocence? When all you needed were pencil shavings-turned-into-flowers to make you happy?

Where is that curiosity? To see things beyond what they appear, and turn it into a work of art?

Where is that sense of accomplishment? When all you had to do was dip a vegetable into colour and make a masterpiece?

I think that's called growing up.

It's ironic. When you are small, you wonder when you will grow up. My cousins and I, we used to play games where we pretend to be running a house and cooking; with toy dining set, dolls, mud, gravel, leaves... anything! (yes, we used anything we got in our hands!). We used to team up as little families and do the 'neighbourhood' game. Nothing exotic about it; we'd just pretend to be small families living in a neighbourhood and live through a make-believe world. We girls would try to make sarees out of any scrap of cloth longer than 1 metre, pretend we are adults and charade in the ancestral home (when we met up for vacations). Good times those!

And now that I am a grown up, I wish to be a child. Things were way uncomplicated back then. Are they now? Or they seem to be? I don't know.

When life grows on you, it's hard at times, to be delighted by the little things of life. I am not saying that the next time you look at a Bhindi (this solves the problem of me getting *lady's finger* wrong!) and say, "Wow! This vegetable looks like a finger!" But well, you get the drift.

 

I am talking of the ability to be amazed by the little things in life. I am trying to rediscover mine.

 

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Thought for the day: "Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton asked why?"

Sex and the Internet

One day, my friend was at the receiving end of this message on Skype, from an unknown 'person':

"There are thousands of unhappy married women and men in every city, but they DO NOT want to leave their spouse. They want to stay married, but they want to have an affair without ever being caught. Our dating community is extremely popular!

Having an affair can be stressful because you never know if the other person involved is going to get attached to you. You just want to have an intimate encounter and nothing else.

A great thing about this Discreet Dating Community For Married People is that there is no cost to join. You can check it out, see if you like it, and then begin contacting married people for secret intimate encounters.

Press here if you want to have an affair with a married person:

www.xyz.com "

Now, what are your first thoughts on reading this? I had many; and that is exactly why this blog!

First of all, I can't help notice how they are trying to empathize with the reader. It's a very innocuous message which says that you are a very dedicated, loving spouse; but don't you want to have some 'harmless' fun? (read: one night stand) They egg you on to try out their "dating site" where you can have 'intimate encounters' (or, in short, sex). Notice how euphemistically they put the whole thing so that it doesn't sound sleazy. They are actually trying to offer you a 'guilt-free' ride and justifying it for you, just as your mind would! It actually manages to sound like a sophisticated dating site. But it's not. 

Out of curiosity (and no other compulsion!) I tried the link. (By the way, it's not actually xyz.com. I intentionally didn't put up that link over here.)

And voila! A whole new site loads, which doesn't bear the name given in the link! How clever. 

The site's actual name is a really sleazy one. "Sex personals and beyond" - reads the tagline of the site. And there were scores of profiles (of both women and men) with no names (remember, they are cheating!). I didn't want to overstay my welcome there, and hence closed it soon enough. All I noticed where the labels "man" or "woman" written for profiles, some with pics (more or less slutty ones, at that!), with details like age, location etc.

It's disgusting and revolting. There were and are many such sites on the internet, but why should this make any difference, you ask. Well, the whole modus operandi is very clever, but wicked too. For instance, their call to 'married' people. Is there any guarantee that only married people will register or use this service? For all you know, this is just a pretext to target people who wouldn't otherwise click on any such sites, by making it 'sound' decent. Further, they are trying to lure married people into committing adultery 'without being caught'! Like this was the answer to 'unhappy marriages'! As it is, infidelity needs no reason; and such sites market excuses to have flings!

And the fact is, it's not dating or an affair... just plain sex! And all the yarn they spin: "Having an affair can be stressful because you never know if the other person involved is going to get attached to you. You just want to have an intimate encounter and nothing else...." My foot!

More than anything, I am amazed at the genius who put Skype to use. As is well known, Skype is growing in popularity, with it's Skype-to-Skype free call facilities. Although Gtalk and Yahoo have started offering call facilities, Skype dominates in this segment. What's the worst thing about Skype is, you can send messages to people without adding them. So, segmenting and targeting online couldn't get easier! If I want to target it at say, youth of the male gender, in so and so country, all I have to do is run a search in their search facility and millions of profiles pop up. I press the send button and it's done! Sure, the recipients might block me; but all it takes is to make another fake profile. My friends also report having got other 'neat' ads, like investment services, etc. So it's a marketing medium in the making.

This again raises the eternal debate of privacy over the internet. You are never hidden from a roving eye, and there are many waiting to put you in jeopardy. So how safe is Skype? Or any online site/chat messenger/or mail facility?

Technology, like anything in this world, can be put to uses, both good and bad. Look at it from one perspective, it seems like a marketing breakthrough. Look at it ethically, and it is not in the one bit amusing. 

It's very evident, isn't it. Even sex sells on the internet!

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Thought for the day: "Promiscuity is like never reading past the first page. Monogamy is like reading the same book over and over."

Last Class

I have rushed straight out of my last class. And I am a bunch of emotions bursting at its seams. I just can't describe what is going through my heart and head. I am overwhelmed... I could cry !

After all, since I was three, I have been sitting within four walls and been at the receiving end of knowledge bombarded from all quarters; most passing through my head, some passing through my brains.It's been like home for the past 21 years. Nested safely in the cocoon of a classroom, nature is now telling me, it's time to break out and fly. I am not quite ready!

Most people I know of would be celebrating their last day of education. I am not sure if I echo those sentiments. Sure, there have been boring lectures; and even more boring Professors. But with me, things have been a bit different. I never liked sitting in the back benches/rows, I paid attention in class and sleep has been rare (though I did master the art once I joined for MBA!). Of course, I have had my share of day dreaming and switching off in class. But I have been fairly alert and awake in class (except for some horrible Professors, because of whom I took to reading magazines). So mine is not the world of eating snacks, throwing paper balls, passing chits, doodling or scribbling in notebooks, sending SMS or dozing off, in the strictest sense. I don't know if that is supposed to be 'fun'. But it suits me fine (yeah, now tell me that I am weird!).

As I look back, it's been quite a journey. But what lies ahead is even more daunting, in some ways. I can't believe I will start working and earning. It's no more exams, studies and assignments. It will be responsibilities and accountability. It seems to be a fear of the uncertain and unknown. 

And in my case, destiny seems to be taking it's course. I did my graduation in Agriculture, did my MBA and now I am going to work for Infosys. That doesn't make sense to me either! But I have realised that things just happen sometimes and you go with the flow. I don't know what more is in store for me. Just hoping that things work out right. I will miss my life in my school and colleges. My world was once the hallowed portals of these institutions. I have learnt as much or more outside its classrooms, as much inside it. It's hard to say if I will or will not pursue higher studies. But it's goodbye to classrooms for now. 

I know that a much bigger class and lessons await me outside.

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Thought for the day: "The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows."  

~Sydney J. Harris

What's in a Word?

Gone are the days when people knew how to write complete, wholesome, punctuated sentences. They are just gone! Bam! Shakespeare will have to do more than squirm in his grave to overcome the anguish at seeing where Queen's English is going.

Before I start off with dishing out a piece of my mind here, let me make it clear that I am not taking the moral high ground here and decrying the lack of concern people have for the language. But well, I am quite a stickler for spellings, grammar and pronunciation (people who have been at the receiving end of boring lectures from me can testify!). And I write this purely out of personal concern. But if I do seem to go overboard with my accusations, blame it on my love for the language!

Saying that SMS revolutionized the world would be an understatement. Ask the English teachers, professors or lecturers. "U rite like dis in exam, u’ll get 0" screamed the headline of an article in the newspaper. Unable to decipher the answer scripts, Bangalore University (BU) authorities have decided to ban Textese or SMS lingo in exams! It is touted to be the first university to ban such language. As one Professor succinctly put it, “Students write ppt for both precipitation as well as power point presentation; est for estimate, estate and establishment. Now, how can teachers understand what the student intends to say?” 

The most quoted example of textese is the "essay" written by a 13-year old Scottish girl! Figure this out:

“My smmr hols wr CWOT. B4, we used 2go2 NY 2C my bro, his GF & thr 3 kids FTF. ILNY, it’s a gr8 plc.”

What it means is: "My summer holidays were a complete waste of time. Before, we used to go to New York to see my brother, his girlfriend and their three screaming kids face to face. I love New York. It’s a great place.” 

So why has it become such a hit? 

The internet, for starters. Instant messaging (or IMs, as we know it) became a rage. People were introduced to the world of 'chatting'. My first taste of chat starts with my cousin introducing to me a chat messenger called ICQ (itself an acronym for I Seek You... get it?). Soon enough, typing complete words (or sentences) itself became passé. In the desire to communicate faster, and more "effectively" (ahem), people started kicking out letters, or shortening the words. A whole new code arose on the internet. Chat afficionados would probably get what "lol" or "lmao" means! 

But the real inducer was the arrival of the SMS. When mobile phones were introduced, a call was costlier than an SMS. This automatically  led to the flow of creative juices in people, who had to cost-effectively communicate to others within 160 characters! 

So what do you have? The birth of a whole new kind of language. One which might be intimidating or intriguing at first. But then, it's easy to get hooked. People who don't have the patience to type, or the money to waste joined the bandwagon. Today is, what I call, the world of Digital Shorthand.

And I must grant it; the creativity involved in Digital Shorthand is just phenomenal. Let me give you a sample of how creative it gets:

• Vowel-less English - What's common in 'ppl', 'txt', 'msg', 'brkfst' and 'plc'? The vowels are missing. It's amazing to see that words can still make sense when vowels are removed. And so, people have quickly adopted this kind of English. Any word can be trimmed of its flab by removing the vowels. 

• Alphanumeric Code - 'gr8', 'w8', '2nite', '2mrw', 'l8r', 'b4','db8'..... well, you get the drift. Condensing words couldn't get better.

• Puncturing Punctuations - 'Wasnt', 'doesnt', 'isnt', 'its'.....What's more, there are no more commas, full stops or capital letters after a full stop, in this language. I'd say that punctuations have become redundant in textese. Or rather, they have found newfound usage. Understand these?

                                           :-)     ;-)     :|    :D   :@   :B    :*    :S    

• Acronyms - This one takes the cake. Whole sentences have been compressed into crisp 3- or 4-letter words (not of the other kind), which can even express sentiments you can't show through SMS or chat. Take for instance 'lol' (laugh out loud), 'lmao' (laughing my ass off), 'g2g' (got to go), 'ttyl' (talk to you later), 'kit' (keep in touch) or 'tc' (take care). Then there's the dangerous 'sos'. You would think it's a harmless 'save our souls'; but it stands for 'someone over shoulder', which kids and teenagers conveniently use to warn their chat partner if their parent or family member is lurching near their PC!

• Speaking phonetically - Many people spell words by how it sounds. For instance, 'gud nite', 'bcoz', 'shud' etc. The ultimate of phonetic spellings is when single letters symbolise words in themselves; like 't' (tea), 'q' (queue), 'b' (be/bee), 'y' (why), 'u' (you), 'r' (are), 'c' (see), 'v' (we)... And then we have 'd' (for 'the') !

But the craziest version of this is when people spell "movie" as "muvee", or "was" as "wuz".

Oh c'mon! It has the same number of letters. What are you showing? That you are from another planet?

• Merge and Spell - This is not entirely out of the SMS/chat world. But words like 'gonna' (going to), 'wanna' (want to) and many more have evolved.

• Misspelling - This one doesn't make much sense. But it's still prevalent. What difference does it make if you spell 'cool' as 'kool', or 'uncle' as 'unkle'? You have just managed to forget what it was really like ! Sheesh! Or should we be blaming Ekta Kapoor and Karan Johar for the 'K' syndrome?!

• The only excess use of characters in this lingo is for emphasis! For instance, when I say, "yyeeesssssss!!!!!!!!!"...... you get how emphatic I am !

Great creativity, but makes lesser sense. Before you laugh off my concern as pointless, it's maybe time to see what impact it has on people. At least you and I know how to actually spell words. There is a whole new generation learning to spell in SMS lingo, even before they learn to spell words correctly. What's worse, the reading habit is on the decline. Add both, and what you have is disaster looming large.

A study in UK indicates that teenagers are becoming unemployable because they have a vocabulary of just 800 words; whereas they should have developed a broad vocabulary of 40,000 words by the time they reach 16 ! The top 20 words used by teenagers, including 'yeah', 'no' and 'but', account for about a third of all words used. No laughing matter, this.

There is no harm in using this language, as long as you know that is not the right one always. Language does evolve to suit the speakers, and textese is an indication of the changing times we are in. And it's better to use this cryptic form in SMS or chat. Who has the patience or time to type punctuations and correct spellings?

But sadly, it is  increasingly manifesting in exams, speeches and job interviews. As it is, people cannot make out the difference between "to" and "too", "where" and "were", " its" and "it's".

The spillover of textese into normal and formal communication is where the problem lies. Formal communication will never be replaced with textese. Increasingly, we are becoming the  Auto-spell check generation. It's amusing to see how casually people rely on Microsoft Word to correct spelling, grammar and punctuation! 

Education systems worldwide are recognizing this trend. Many colleges and universities discourage using objective questions or multiple-answer questions. As the student does not have to write long answers, the use of written language is restricted. Encouraging reading is another option on the rise. The digital age has killed reading; or so, many claim. All I can hope is that this age does something to encourage it; e-readers like Kindle, etc. have hit the market. The impact remains to be seen. There are many in the West, who advocate cutting TV/Browsing time for the youth, so that conversations at home take place, encouraging people to communicate more and use English language as it is.

Let's face it; reading SMS lingo all the time can be really boring. Imagine text books, articles, and newspapers in textese. Sure, it will save reams of paper (what with words so condensed), but it's such a pain! So all I hope is that the English language survives the torment of technology. Let's give Shakespeare something to cheer about!

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Thought for the day: "Slang is a language that rolls up its sleeves, spits on its hands and goes to work. " ~Carl Sandburg, New York Times

All Izz Well?

No prizes for guessing what this is about. Nothing but the talk of the town (for reasons good, bad and ugly!) - Three Idiots!

Here's a movie which hit theatres on a Christmas day, and all hell broke loose! It was amazing to see the kind of rave reviews it got within a day of its release. People updating their status on Facebook and Orkut; tweets galore on how great and a 'must-watch' the movie is. 'Word of mouth' endorsement never had it this good. And with all the hype, rises expectations. So did mine. And that's where it fails.

I am not saying that 3 Idiots is bad; but it's 'not bad'. And as Raja Sen of Rediff.com rightly said about the movie, "when did 'not bad' become good"? I think it had to do with the low expectations from Bollywood movies. And so, it's not a case of the movie being great; people didn't have 'great expectations' to start with.

Now, to briefly put what is good about the movie. The movie does have its moments: the "balatkar - chamatkar" fiasco, ragging methods (which is known to many people, by the way), the Joy Lobo and his chopper incident (followed by his suicide), the 50s 'black and white' melodrama of Raju Rastogi's family and so on.

But, the problem with the movie is that it tries to marry madness to matter.

It tries not to be didactic about the Indian education system, which converts students into 'memorizing machines' and pressurizes students to learn by rote. To an extent the movie succeeds; but in parts. For instance, when Joy Lobo quits on life; or when Rancho teaches 'Virus' how to teach through inventing words such as 'Prerajulization' and 'Farhanitrate'. The movie caricatures the typical student through Chatur, who's an excellent example of conventional learning, where matter goes through his head, but not through his brains. His balatkar speech was just a hyperbole to drive home the fact. The makers also stick to the tried-and-tested formula of having a mantra (much like Jadoo ki Jhappi) in this film too: All Izz Well, which is a rage already.

At the same time, the movie strays to become a breezy entertainer, and thus a lot of comic elements and Bollywood-esque melodrama is thrown in for good measure!

Take for instance the caricature that 'Virus' is. It is quite alright to make him a typical khadoos principal. But the 7.5-minute power nap, the shaving that happens in between and his mannerisms are too much of an exagerration. Deforming that character to such unwarranted proportions made him a joke, more than anything.

The movie heavily relies on the email forwards or mobile jokes (case in point: the astronaut pen and the mix up of answer scripts). So much so that it left those who know them bored. It was even more unbelievable to see that some impostor could go through college masquerading as someone else, only to be conveniently dislodged once the degree certificate is attained! Another scene which is quite astonishing is how Raju is revived from his coma - by promising him to marry his sister off to Farhan for FREE! Not to forget the melodrama in the scene where Farhan appeals to his dad; and also Raju's job interview. It's amazing to realize that hamming is still a part and parcel of Hindi movies.

And the one that takes the cake is the delivery of the child by a Vacuum Cleaner (version 2.0)! The makers of the movie like to call that scene "the most emotional moment of the film". Sure, it did take my breath away. Not because of the delivery, but because it left me gasping in disbelief! And what's more; the child kicks back to life when they chant the mantra: "All Izz Well"! I had thought such fine aspects of movie-making was done and over with. But, well... the Hindi movies never fail to surprise me.

In short, the movie is a glimpse of not what it is, but what it could be. There was a lot of potential in developing an honest film - just as the Munnabhai series. But, the Bollywood masala was a tad too much and it spoiled the dish!

Going beyond the movie

The movie tried to send a message, and it has been totally lost in transit. The movie urges its viewers to have a re-look at the education system and how learning takes place. The fact is, all who I know came back from the movie saying that it was 'fun', a 'cool concept', 'must-watch' and so on. It remains just that - an entertainer.

Blaming the system alone is not fair. After a point of time, students are happily using the pretext of the system and justifying why they are not applying themselves while studying. I, for instance, can see that happening even in my own B-school. At post-graduation level, no one essentially tests your 'by-hearting' skills. We get to do case studies, situational analysis, learn frameworks and so on. But ultimately, my experience tells me that marks is all what matters to people, at large. I have seen people haggling for a mark or half, cheating, fighting, fretting and so on. People are quick to say it was 'out of syllabus' or 'it was not taught to us'. And it never ceases to amaze me how people can't shake off that mentality; even at the post-graduation level. Even when we are all educated and mature enough to know that the grades on your sheet is no indicator of your success in life: be it placements, professional or personal life.

Until the change happens from both the sides, learning will happen as it has happened always. Effort has to be be put in both by the system and the students that are a part of it. And using the education system as an excuse for not applying one's mind and REALLY trying to learn is just hogwash.

It reminds me of a classic definition which seems to suit this thought.

Lecture [lek-cher] noun, verb, -tured, -turing: An art of transmitting information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the student, without passing through the minds of either.

Until then, we can fool ourselves, like Aamir says, by keeping a hand on our hearts and saying:

"All Izz Well !!!"

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Thought for the day: "Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten." - B. F. Skinner