LOVE - does it mean anything NOW?

“True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen.”

So said someone. And I must say I agree with it now. Today, there is everything between two people involved except love.

Life has invariably changed over decades, and so has the concept of love. We have heard so much of erstwhile love stories like Romeo-Juliet. Coming closer to our own country, we had Salim-Anarkali, Heer-Ranjha; so on and so forth. There was a lot of passion then . They were even ready to give their life for their love. Their tales of misery and hardships have been glorified through songs, movies, ballads. And it still remains alive (so to say).

But today? Let me cite a quote:

“For, Heaven be thanked, we live in such an age,

When no man dies for love, but on the stage.”

(It is obviously a cynical take on the present state of affairs!)

In short, People are in love with the notion of falling in love. And it all begins at an alarmingly young age. Today, even school-going children talk of being in ‘relationships’ and having ‘boyfriends’ and ‘girlfriends’. It is even more alarming considering the fact that they get physically involved at a much earlier age, when they aren’t mature enough (physically, mentally, or psychologically). The end result? Not encouraging.

Kids at this age tend to feel attracted or infatuated by the opposite sex. True. But taking it to such hitherto unimaginable levels do more harm. By the time they are 19-20 years of age, they have had enough of ‘love’ or ‘relationships’ .Because, obviously, their school-crushes or relationships were not meant to last. But what suffers most is their ‘concept’ of love. Adolescents begin off with ‘idealistic’ concepts of love being ‘true’ and ‘forever’, etc.

But wrong relationships have taught them otherwise. They learn too soon and too fast at such a young age! and Net result? They get disappointed and end up not believing in love or relationships.

And that is very dangerous. Because then they tend to believe that true love does not exist, it’s all a hoax. They fail to see that their ‘premature’ relationships, in fact, have disillusioned them. And the implications are numerous. Such youngsters have distorted views of love, of life. They get cynical about love. They tend to be more wary of other people, cautious of ‘falling’ in love.

The net effect is that we have a bunch of youngsters who have a very casual (shallow, in fact) view of love. For them, love is “time pass”. They change partners faster than their clothes. Having relationships is just a way of satisfying their physical cravings. Tolerance levels drop to zero. You don’t like something about someone? Then just “dump” or “ditch” someone! Everything’s over; just in a flash! Another of the woes of the ‘instant’ lives we now lead. Youngsters now need partners for just a show. Just some “arm-trophy” or “eye-candy”. It’s a means of staying in the ‘social circuit’. You know, just to ‘show-off’ that “I’m-cool-I’m-popular-and-wanted”. Most people end up not believing in marriage, and even if they do, they are rendered incapable of loving or being true to their spouses. Failed marriages & divorces are ample proof.

As for me, I had this silly notion (when I was smaller) of “a prince coming on a white horse and sweeping me off my feet”. And honestly, I still do believe in it! But jokes apart, I’ve not been ‘in love’ and stuff. I’ve had my share of ‘crushes’ and ‘infatuations’ and I have had the sense to distinguish what it really was (just a ‘crush’, of course!). Hence, I’ve not been “disillusioned” by illusions (so to say!). What everyone must realize that you WILL find love, if it is meant to be. Rushing off and trying to hurry this ‘process’ won’t do good folks! Patience is rewarding.....Right?(Let’s hope so).

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Thought for the day: “The me I see is the me I'll be.”

My Dad ...my Hero

Today I’d like to talk about my Dad.

Once, when we were small (my sister and me), we fought over some trivial thing. I exactly don’t remember what it was; something about pencils or so (it was way back; maybe when we were in the 7th or 8th !! ). Then our dad came; he saw us fight. Instead of chiding us for fighting over such trivial things, he gave us a little talk; and that changed me for life. Before I get to that, I want to give a brief glimpse into his past.

Dad was born as the 5th child to my grandparents; and his dad died when he was only 4 or 5 yrs old. He has no vivid memory of his dad. He was the 1st boy in the family. Naturally the responsibility fell onto his shoulders very early. His was not an easy childhood. And he never told us about it; until that small ‘tiff’ between us.

That night as he began talking, the power went. In that dark night, by the aid of an emergency light, he told us things; of his past....

He told us about his childhood; he told of times when he was provided just ONE pencil (then they used slate and pencils). He had to use till it became so small a stub that he couldn’t even hold it in his hands. Of how he used to attend classes after looking into the chores of the house. He told of times when ‘fish’ curry to him meant having just ONE fish to cook and apportioning that one, itsy-bitsy fish among all the members of the family. He talked of times when he had no money to pay for bus-fares, of not having clothes to wear to college; and many more.

By the time he finished, we were in tears. Right then, us fighting for some pencils seemed so very petty. And I thanked dad in my heart for that ‘little’ talk. It changed my perspective of life. My dad, let me specify, is the kind of person who never shares any of his problems with us. His heart may be in turmoil, but he never lets us know it .

[This may seem a figment of someone's fertile imagination to some. It may seem fictitious; or rather something straight out of a story: the protagonist being this poor lad who makes it big one day....but this IS the truth. My dad has risen out of abject poverty by his own will and determination. Not that I am saying we are 'filthy rich'. But our dad provides for us well !]

And that day when he told us about his past, it was a revelation of sorts; because I hadn’t imagined until then that he had such a childhood. He has had a tough life since then as well. But he has never let us feel inadequate in any sphere of life. Because of his childhood experience, he was pretty adamant that we should not lack in anything. If we ask for one pencil, he would buy 10 !

Then I realized how strong my dad is at heart. He has been through a lot. And he has taught many things through his life, which I’m grateful for. He has taught me the value of education, of perseverance, of hard work and many more. Hence, from that day onwards, we both realized the value of the things we had. He also taught us to be content with what you have. And that day, by the time he finished his talk, the power came back; and indeed, a 'new' light had dawned on me.....

That is why my dad is, was and always will be my hero.

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Thought for the day: “First deserve; then desire.”

Count your blessings

Let me start with a small incident.

I was on my way, rushing to the bus stop. I had woken up late. Consequentially, I had to gather my wits and all the things I needed for the day (my bag with books; not to forget my lunch box!).

Was hurrying so that I wouldn't miss my bus.

As I was racing to reach the bus stop, I saw a small boy (walking with his grandpa). He had prosthetic legs. But the child somehow didn't seem to 'feel' crippled for life. He was very cheerful, oblivious to the fact that he was disabled in any way.

Suddenly, it hit me. There I was 'running' away to glory to catch the bus. But that child, he will never run. He will never leap with joy; he'll never enjoy outdoor sports. Then I thanked God ; for I did have two fine legs.

There are umpteen things one takes for granted in life. The house we live in, our family, friends... even our 'sanity' ! In this mad-rush called 'life', we do not (want to) think of things we have; instead we harp on things we don't have . We all lead safe and sound lives. Nestled away in the comforts of our homes, we eat three meals a day, we have fine clothes to wear, we have money to spend. But there are many for whom life means making ends meet. They don't have basic amenities like food, clothing, shelter, clean drinking water.We see beggars roaming on the roads, unkempt and unclean. Pause then and thank God....you are not one of them.

It seems to me that we are not "grateful" enough. All we do is whine about things we don't have; things which we 'think' will make us happier. Instead, why not pause and think of how fortunate we are to have what we have?

I read a forward on the net, and it BEAUTIFULLY conveys that we have to be thankful for what we have. It has been one of my all-time favourites.

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"Today, upon a bus, I saw a girl with golden hair

I looked at her and sighed and wished I was as fair.

When suddenly she rose to leave,

I saw her hobble down the aisle.

She had one leg and used a crutch

But as she passed, she passed a smile.

Oh, God, forgive me when I whine

I have 2 legs, the world is mine.

I stopped to buy some candy

The lad who sold it had such charm

I talked with him a while, he seemed so very glad

If I were late, it'd do no harm.

And as I left, he said to me,

"I thank you, you've been so kind.

It's nice to talk with folks like you.

You see," he said, "I'm blind."

Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.

I have 2 eyes, the world is mine.

Later while walking down the street,

I saw a child with eyes of blue

He stood and watched the others play

He did not know what to do.

I stopped a moment and then I said,

"Why don't you join the others, dear?"

He looked ahead without a word.

And then I knew, he couldn't hear.

Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.

I have 2 ears, the world is mine.

With feet to take me where I'd go.

With eyes to see the sunset's glow.

With ears to hear what I would know.

Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.

I've been blessed indeed, The world is mine."

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So everyday, think of one thing you are grateful for. You will be much happier !

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Thought for the say: "Quitters never win; winners never quit"

Web+log= blog !!!

Hey! I thought a weblog- must be interesting. Half the world is hooked onto it; kind of interesting too. To carve a niche on the internet for oneself. Creating space for oneself. Posting one's thoughts, opinions, suggestions, comments. So I thought, what the heck, let me try it out too !! And so here I am! How 'faithful' I remain to my blog is left to be seen. Let me tell you something. Every year, I ambitiously start off my 'journal'. I swear I'll write daily. But frankly, it never lasts for more than 2 months (that's the maximum!).

Blame my laziness, forgetfullness, or sheer disinterest !! Anyways, I'm giving a shot at this.

Let's see how it turns out...adios folks!

[P.S : wish me luck!!]

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Thought for the day: "nobody can drive you crazy, unless you give them the keys."