Future Tense

It is natural for us to be anxious about our future. Most often than not, we are anticipating it and that's all what we seem to care for. Similar is my case. For the past few weeks, all I can thing about is "What lies ahead?"

It is even more crucial, considering the fact that I'm at crossroads. That's coz I'm about to finish my undergraduate course (well, within 6 months, maybe !). And then the question naturally arises...What next?

I've my heart set at doing MBA. But then, what surprised me the most was the reaction people gave to this unassuming ambition of mine. The most frequently asked question (FAQ!) was: "What about marriage??"

I say, "It can wait!". But then, I know most of 'em are thinking that I'm wrong. I can't fathom why people don't take girls with aspirations seriously. And I don't know why people narrow down the 'marriageable' age to, say, 20-23! Most elders are worried that we (as in, me and my sis) would've crossed that so-called 'limit' if we pursue future studies.

And the next thing they wonder about is us doing MBA outside Kerala. Frankly, I am all for going out of Kerala and doing MBA. Don't get me wrong. I'm not among those who think 'Kerala is a shit hole' and it's not coz I have 'attitude' and stuff! Neither am I trying to run away from here. I believe that I need some exposure....how long will I remain a frog in the well ?

Most of my friends have been living away from home for their UG course. They are independent, they do their own stuff. Most of 'em are infact placed in good jobs already! So I feel that it's time I went ahead and explored the world outside as well. After all, I'll get some first-hand experience and information which can do me good. Sure, I'm a very home-loving person and I'm bound to feel homesick. But this is how you get over it ! And it's inevitable that I have to leave my home and this 'protected' life one day.

So why not now?

The next thing people wonder about is sending girls (here, us!) 'outside' Kerala. Well, frankly I'm non-plussed over such doubts. It's beyond me to answer such things. I guess it's just that they think in our best interests and hence are worried about our safety. I appreciate that. But then, I don't see any problem in going out. Girls or boys, if you can take care of yourself I don't think security is such an issue. Well, if it's otherwise; I guess I'll just have to find out!

My dad is the most worried, I believe. He is too caring and protective. He can't imagine us leaving home. But then, we can't remain daddy's "li'l girls" all our life! Every Friday he calls, we go all over this again ! And now that the various application bulletins are out, the feeling is sinking in. I have to prove myself now. It was my decision and hence, the onus is on me! It remains to be seen where I finally land up. But then, being the optimist that I am...Everything will turn out for the best ! Inshah Allah.

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Thought for the day : "Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."

Monsoon Memories

We had a versification competition at our college, as part of our inter-class arts fest. Needless, to say, I took part ! The theme was 'Monsoon' and we were given 1 hour for our creative venture. So here's what I wrote. It isn't great; but then, there was the time limit. So, I had to think of something (and fast!).

The theme I chose to associate with monsoons is the memories one has of it- as a child, we are thrilled by the innocence and purity of the rains; as we peak our adolescence, rains become romantic (!!). And then, there is dread and despair associated with it when it lashes out. Rains are also considered auspicious...a sign of good fortune. So the poem I wrote was a humble endeavour to link these thoughts. Here goes...

Monsoon Memories

With a cup of coffee and some pleasant thoughts,
I sit by the window; no company I sought.
For the rains beckoned memories from the past.
The downpour casting a spell atlast !

I rummage through my mind; I see myself small;
A wee bit chubby, but fairly tall.
The rivulets on the road, my source of pleasure;
Oh! Childhood memories- truly a treasure.

And then, I see myself walking with him.
My heart overflowing with emotions upto the brim.
Walking down the road on that rainy day;
His company had then made my day.

Dread creeps in as I recollect,
The day my friend was brought in dead.
The rains lashed out; it was a storm.
And the despair seemed to linger on.

And then my wedding I can clearly see,
The downpour was as strong as it could be.
"Blessings of the Lord!", everyone said.
And I see myself blushing; a newly-wed!

The rains have seen me through thick and thin,
Been with me like my kith and kin.
It is still raining...and I can see,
That our relationship will last; let it be !


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Thought for the day : "The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention."

Where is the world heading to ?

As I write, the umpteen number of news channels are covering various stories across the globe. And the saddest part? EVERY bit of it is depressing (to say the least). Let's start off with the London-Glasgow 'foiled' (rather, 'failed') terror plot. The latest (at the moment) is that Indian doctors are suspects. Muhamed Haneef has been detained in Austraila for interrogation; similarly, Sabeel Ahamed has been detained in Liverpool. To think that they are responsible would be to jump to a premature conclusion. After all, one is innocent until proved guilty.

Nevertheless, life for Indians in the UK is going to be an uphill task from now on. By corollary, Indians will be mistrusted and a possible racial backlash can't be ruled out. Gordon Brown, the PM of the UK, has called for stricter policies and scrutiny of recruitments to the National Health Services (NHS). And indeed, if doctors were involved....I wonder-

How can educated, intelligent, rational people abet terrorism?

Next prominent news doing the rounds is the clash between security forces and Islamic students at Lal Masjid, Pakistan. There are talks of 'jihad being declared' and also the threat of 'suicide bombers'. A theory doing the rounds is that it is a 'staged' episode to divert attention from the removal of the Chief Justice. Nevertheless, bloodshed and gore is imminent, is what I can make of it. Infact, bombings have already taken place. The Government might move in to forcefully evacuate the radicals from the adjoining madrassas and the Masjid.

And then, the story of Suraj, a 6-year old boy (some news channels claim 2-and-a-half-years) stuck in a borewell which is 180-feet deep. It has been more than 30 hours (I believe) and the child has not shown any signs of consciousness. Are the military forces working for a lost cause? Nothing can be said. Last heard, they were trying to make a parallel path to reach the child. And to add to the agony, the crane doing the excavation rolled over and injured another 5 people ! Another 'Prince' you think??? Well, atleast he was fortunate to get out of it alive. There have been many such cases in the recent past...and none of them survived. What happens of this...only time can tell.

Another terrible story I came across was that of a girl child being buried ALIVE (yep...ALIVE!!) by her mother (yes again....her MOTHER!!!) and grandfather (I believe, in Hyderabad). That was the most inhuman thing to do! It seems the child was the 8th girl child born to that couple. And to make it worse, the father suspects that the child is not his (nopes...it's NOT a movie plot !!). That prompted the mother to resort to this. The child's cry attracted the attention of the neighbours and that's how the child got a second chance at life. With so much resistance, it is only obvious how the child will be recieved by her 'family'. We may lament, criticise and condemn the mother (and the act). But imagine, if she had to resort to it, what must have forced her into doing it? No, I'm not supporting her or justifying her. But then, that's worth cogitating.

I'm an optimist (mostly). But I have been searching for the proverbial 'silver lining'.

Sadly, it is nowhere to be seen.

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Thought for the day: "If you don't long to live, then you won't live too long."

Sickness sets in

I'm physically at my WORST now!

Needless to say, the monsoons herald an array of diseases. It's bad enough that one gets fever...but no! It doesn't end there for me. I have throat infection, sinusitis, cold, cough and sneezing too !!!! (not to forget the ubiquitous fever, as I said !)

I'm heavily drugged (NO pun intended!!). The sedatives lull me to sleep...and my eyes feel as if they are weighed down by stones. The worst part is being bed-ridden. I just feel like getting off the bed, but no !

I'm weary...sigh...

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I believe it all started when I got wet by the rains, on Sunday, as I was coming back from my CAT coaching classes (yep, I was on my scooter...and I have no raincoat!). Monday passed off fine as well; had a slight headache though. But whatdya know? On Tuesday, I can barely open my eyes. High fever sets in. And then, I go visit a doc and buy the requisite medicines. I put up a brave front today. I said to myself, "No fever can conquer my indomitable spirit!".

I force myself out of bed and go to college ( Uh-oh! bad choice). And then, after I come back from college...even HIGHER fever sets in!! Now I am conscious (so to say). Don't know when the sedatives will start to work its wonders again. Infact I'm drowsy already *yawn*.

Please pray so that I may recover soon. I have my mid-terms lined up next week. Won't be going to college tomorrow. Cheer me up people !

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Thought for the day : "Hope for the best but prepare for the worst. "